The Rainbow-虹(英文版)

第72部分 (第5/7頁)

　be

to　bring　the　will　of　the　children　into　accordance　with　his　own

will。　And　this　he　can　only　do　by　an　abnegation　of　his　personal

self；　and　an　application　of　a　system　of　laws；　for　the　purpose　of

achieving　a　certain　calculable　result；　the　imparting　of　certain

knowledge。　Whereas　Ursula　thought　she　was　going　to　bee　the

first　wise　teacher　by　making　the　whole　business　personal；　and

using　no　pulsion。　She　believed　entirely　in　her　own

personality。

So　that　she　was　in　a　very　deep　mess。　In　the　first　place　she

was　offering　to　a　class　a　relationship　which　only　one　or　two　of

the　children　were　sensitive　enough　to　appreciate；　so　that　the

mass　were　left　outsiders；　therefore　against　her。　Secondly；　she

was　placing　herself　in　passive　antagonism　to　the　one　fixed

authority　of　Mr。　Harby；　so　that　the　scholars　could　more　safely

harry　her。　She　did　not　know；　but　her　instinct　gradually　warned

her。　She　was　tortured　by　the　voice　of　Mr。　Brunt。　On　it　went；

jarring；　harsh；　full　of　hate；　but　so　monotonous；　it　nearly　drove

her　mad：　always　the　same　set；　harsh　monotony。　The　man　was　bee

a　mechanism　working　on　and　on　and　on。　But　the　personal　man　was

in　subdued　friction　all　the　time。　It　was　horrible……all

hate！　Must　she　be　like　this？　She　could　feel　the　ghastly

necessity。　She　must　bee　the　same……put　away　the　personal

self；　bee　an　instrument；　an　abstraction；　working　upon　a

certain　material；　the　class；　to　achieve　a　set　purpose　of　making

them　know　so　much　each　day。　And　she　could　not　submit。　Yet

gradually　she　felt　the　invincible　iron　closing　upon　her。　The　sun

was　being　blocked　out。　Often　when　she　went　out　at　playtime　and

sa