第83部分 (第2/7頁)
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or more than two years。
Often her thoughts returned to him。 He seemed like the
gleaming dawn; yellow; radiant; of a long; grey; ashy day。 The
memory of him was like the thought of the first radiant hours of
morning。 And here was the blank grey ashiness of later daytime。
Ah; if he had only remained true to her; she might have known
the sunshine; without all this toil and hurt and degradation of
a spoiled day。 He would have been her angel。 He held the keys of
the sunshine。 Still he held them。 He could open to her the gates
of succeeding freedom and delight。 Nay; if he had remained true
to her; he would have been the doorway to her; into the
boundless sky of happiness and plunging; inexhaustible freedom
which was the paradise of her soul。 Ah; the great range he would
have opened to her; the illimitable endless space for
self…realization and delight for ever。
The one thing she believed in was in the love she had held
for him。 It remained shining and plete; a thing to hark back
to。 And she said to herself; when present things seemed a
failure:
〃Ah; I was fond of him;〃 as if with him the leading
flower of her life had died。
Now she heard from him again。 The chief effect was pain。 The
pleasure; the spontaneous joy was not there any longer。 But her
will rejoiced。 Her will had fixed itself to him。 And the
old excitement of her dreams stirred and woke up。 He was e;
the man with the wondrous lips that could send the kiss wavering
to the very end of all space。 Was he e back to her? She did
not believe。
My dear Ursula; I am back in England again for a few
months before going out agai