The Rainbow-虹(英文版)

第86部分 (第7/7頁)

l；　unliving　beings　which　we

call　people　in　our　dead　language。　Her　absence　was　worse　than

pain　to　him。　It　destroyed　his　being。

Dead；　he　went　on　from　lunch　to　tea。　His　face　was　all　the　time

fixed　and　stiff　and　colourless；　his　life　was　a　dry；　mechanical

movement。　Yet　even　he　wondered　slightly　at　the　awful　misery　that

had　overe　him。　How　could　he　be　so　ashlike　and　extinct？　He

wrote　her　a　letter。

I　have　been　thinking　that　we　must　get　married　before　long。　My

pay　will　be　more　when　I　get　out　to　India；　we　shall　be　able　to

get　along。　Or　if　you　don't　want　to　go　to　India；　I　could　very

probably　stay　here　in　England。　But　I　think　you　would　like　India。

You　could　ride；　and　you　would　know　just　everybody　out　there。

Perhaps　if　you　stay　on　to　take　your　degree；　we　might　marry

immediately　after　that。　I　will　write　to　your　father　as　soon　as　I

hear　from　you

He　went　on；　disposing　of　her。　If　only　he　could　be　with　her！

All　he　wanted　now　was　to　marry　her；　to　be　sure　of　her。　Yet　all

the　time　he　was　perfectly；　perfectly　hopeless；　cold；　extinct；

without　emotion　or　connection。

He　felt　as　if　his　life　were　dead。　His　soul　was　extinct。　The

whole　being　of　him　had　bee　sterile；　he　was　a　spectre；

divorced　from　life。　He　had　no　fullness；　he　was　just　a　flat

shape。　Day　by　day　the　madness　accumulated　in　him。　The　horror　of

not…being　possessed　him。

He　went　here；　there；　and　everywhere。　But　whatever　he　did；　he

knew　that　only　the　cipher　of　him　was　there；　nothing　was　filled

in。　He　went　to　the　theatre；　what　he　heard　and　saw　fell　upon　a