第19部分 (第5/7頁)
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gratia plena; Dominus tecum; Benedicta tu in mulieribus et
benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus。 Ave Maria; Sancta Maria;
ora pro nobis peccatoribus; nunc et in hora mortis nostrae;
Amen。〃
It was not right; somehow。 What these words meant when
translated was not the same as the pale rosary meant。 There was
a discrepancy; a falsehood。 It irritated her to say; 〃Dominus
tecum;〃 or; 〃benedicta tu in mulieribus。〃 She loved the mystic
words; 〃Ave Maria; Sancta Maria;〃 she was moved by 〃benedictus
fructus ventris tui Jesus;〃 and by 〃nunc et in hora mortis
nostrae。〃 But none of it was quite real。 It was not
satisfactory; somehow。
She avoided her rosary; because; moving her with curious
passion as it did; it meant only these not very
significant things。 She put it away。 It was her instinct to put
all these things away。 It was her instinct to avoid thinking; to
avoid it; to save herself。
She was seventeen; touchy; full of spirits; and very moody:
quick to flush; and always uneasy; uncertain。 For some reason or
other; she turned more to her father; she felt almost flashes of
hatred for her mother。 Her mother's dark muzzle and curiously
insidious ways; her mother's utter surety and confidence; her
strange satisfaction; even triumph; her mother's way of laughing
at things and her mother's silent overriding of vexatious
propositions; most of all her mother's triumphant power maddened
the girl。
She became sudden and incalculable。 Often she stood at the
window; looking out; as if she wanted to go。 Sometimes she went;
she mixed with people。 But always she came home in anger; as if