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ead: such dread as children only can feel。

No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red…room; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to this day。 Yes; Mrs。 Reed; to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering; but I ought to forgive you; for you knew not what you did: while rending my heart…strings; you thought you were only uprooting my bad propensities。

Next day; by noon; I was up and dressed; and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth。 I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which kept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop from my cheek than another followed。 Yet; I thought; I ought to have been happy; for none of the Reeds were there; they were all gone out in the carriage with their mama。 Abbot; too; was sewing in another room; and Bessie; as she moved hither and thither; putting away toys and arranging drawers; addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted kindness。 This state of things should have been to me a paradise of peace; accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging; but; in fact; my racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could soothe; and no pleasure excite them agreeably。

Bessie had been down into the kitchen; and she brought up with her a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate; whose bird of paradise; nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds; had been wont to stir in me a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often petitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more closely; but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a privilege。 This precious vessel

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