the days of my life

第6部分 (第1/7頁)

y　dear　father；　who　had　the　interests　of　all　his　children　so　closely　at　heart；　wrote　a　sharp　and　testy　letter；　probably　under　the　influence　of　some　other　irritation　of　which　I　know　nothing；　is　he　to　be　saddled　with　the　weight　of　all　the　consequences　of　that　letter？　Or　am　I　to　be　saddled　with　those　consequences　because　I　was　a　high…spirited　and　sensitive　young　man　who　took　the　letter　too　seriously？　If　we　knew　the　answers　to　these　questions　we　should　have　solved　the　meaning　of　the　secret　of　our　lives。　But　they　are　hidden　by　the　blackness　that　walls　us　in；　that　blackness　in　which　the　sphinx　will　speak　at　last　—　or　stay　for　ever　silent。

Meanwhile　the　moral　is　that　people　should　be　careful　of　what　they　put　on　paper。　When　we　throw　a　stone　into　the　sea；　who　knows　where　the　ripple　ends？

To　return　—　these　rows　at　Bradenham；　niy…nine　out　of　a　hundred　of　which　meant　nothing　at　all；　had　a　very　ical　side　to　them。　Perhaps　they　sprang　up　at　table　on　the　occasion　of　an　argument　between　my　father　and　one　of　his　sons。　Then　he　would　rise　majestically；　announce　in　solemn　tones　that　he　refused　to　be　insulted　in　his　own　house；　and　depart；　banging　the　door　loudly　behind　him。　Across　the　hall　he　went　into　the　drawing…room　and　banged　that　door；　out　of　the　drawing…room　into　the　vestibule　（here　there　are　two　doors；　so　the　bang　was　double…barrelled）；　through　the　vestibule　into　the　garden；　if　the　row　was　of　the　first　magnitude。　If　not　he　banged　his　way　back　into　the　dining…room　by　the　serving　entrance；　and　very　probably　sat　doper；　the　exercise　having　relieved　his　feelings。　Especially　was　this　so　if　the　offending　son　had　banged　himself　out　of　the　house　by　some　other　route。

Only　the　other　day　I　examined　those　Bradenham　doors　and　their　hinges。　The　workmanship　of　them　is　really　w