new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)

第23部分 (第6/7頁)

sy；〃　I　plained　to　Jacob　when　I　picked　him　up　after

school　Friday。

〃Maybe　we　should　cool　it　with　the　bikes。〃　He　saw　my　objecting　expression　and

added；　〃At　least　for　a

week　or　so。　You　could　stay　out　of　the　hospital　for　a　week；　right？〃

〃What　are　we　going　to　do？〃　I　griped。

He　smiled　cheerfully。　〃What　ever　you　want。〃

I　thought　about　that　for　a　minute—about　what　I　wanted。

I　hated　the　idea　of　losing　even　my　brief　seconds　of　closeness　with　the

memories　that　didn't　hurt—the　ones

that　came　on　their　own；　without　me　thinking　of　them　consciously。　If　I　couldn't

have　the　bikes；　I　was　going

to　have　to　find　some　other　avenue　to　the　danger　and　the　adrenaline；　and　that

was　going　to　take　serious

thought　and　creativity。　Doing　nothing　in　the　meantime　was　not　appealing。

Suppose　I　got　depressed　again；

even　with　Jake？　I　had　to　keep　occupied。

Maybe　there　was　some　other　way；　some　other　recipe　some　other　place。

The　house　had　been　a　mistake；　certainly。　But　his　presence　must　be　stamped

somewhere；　somewhere

other　than　inside　me。　There　had　to　be　a　place　where　he　seemed　more　real　than

among　all　the　familiar

landmarks　that　were　crowded　with　other　human　memories。

I　could　think　of　one　place　where　that　might　hold　true。　One　place　that　would

always　belong　to　him　and　no

one　else。　A　magic　place；　full　of　light。　The　beautiful　meadow　I'd　seen　only

once　in　my　life；　lit　by　sunshine

and　the　sparkle　of　his　skin。

This　idea　had　a　huge　potential　for　backfiring—it　might　be　dangerously

painful。　My　chest　ached　with

emptiness　even　to　think　of　it。　It　was　hard　to　hold　myself　upright；　to　not　give

myself　away。　But