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like the lawn had been flooded—waist…high—with green; feathery waves。

And the house was there; but it was not the same。 Though nothing had changed

on the outside; the

emptiness screamed from the blank windows。 It was creepy。 For the first time

since I'd seen the beautiful

house; it looked like a fitting haunt for vampires。

I hit the brakes; looking away。 I was afraid to go farther。

But nothing happened。 No voice in my head。

So I left the engine running and jumped out into the fern sea。 Maybe; like

Friday night; if I walked

forward

I approached the barren; vacant face slowly; my truck rumbling out a

forting roar behind me。 I

stopped when I got to the porch stairs; because there was nothing here。 No

lingering sense of their

presence of his presence。 The house was solidly here; but it meant little。

Its concrete reality would not

counteract the nothingness of the nightmares。

I didn't go any closer。 I didn't want to look in the windows。 I wasn't sure

which would be harder to see。

If the rooms were bare; echoing empty from floor to ceiling; that would

certainly hurt。 Like my

grandmother's funeral; when my mother had insisted that I stay outside during

the viewing。 She had said

that I didn't need to see Gran that way; to remember her that way; rather than

alive。

But wouldn't it be worse if there were no change? If the couches sat just as

I'd last seen them; the

paintings on the walls—worse still; the piano on its low platform? It would

be second only to the house

disappearing all together; to see that there was no physical possession that

tied them in anyway。 That

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