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d a sigh of relief。
Their mother was devastated。
It is a lovely day in August; five days after my sixth birthday。
I have been sent into the garden to play。 My grandmother is lying down。 She has a pain in her chest。
It’s unusual for her to be ill。 Grandpa is the one with a weak heart。
Listlessly; I rock to and fro on the swing。 I’m feeling lonely。 I wish I had someone to play with。
Then; suddenly; I see just the person I need: my grandfather; on his way home from work; though it’s the middle of the afternoon。 “Grandpa!” I cry delightedly; “e and push me!”
His face is white and stern; as I’ve never seen it before。 “You shouldn’t be out playing;” he says gruffly; as if I was doing something I shouldn’t。
“But – ” I want to tell him that I’m only doing as I’ve been told。 “It’s going to rain;” he adds brusquely。 I look up; baffled; at the bright blue sky。 Not a cloud in sight。
“e with me!” His voice has a note of desperation。
As we walk together up the stairs; he takes my hand; holds on to it; as if he needs support。 I am gripped by a sense of foreboding。 But it will be some time before I realize that this moment represents the point where my childhood ends。
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Growing up 長大(1)
自從孩子降生那一刻起,作為父母,我們就總是希望給他們最好的。全心全意愛著他們、保護著他們,養育、安撫著他們,回應著他們提出的每一個要求。
我們應該寵愛他們多久呢?有沒有那麼一次,我們不去理睬他們的苦惱,讓他們自己去承受一點點鬱悶?或者,不去試著逗他們開心?我們為什麼就不能這樣做呢?
我們先不要去想,孩子們是否被剝奪了渴望、夢想他們不能得到的東西的內在需求;是否沒能去體驗那種得到了盼望許久的東西時的極大滿足。
我們只需去想象一下讓這種情況繼續下去的後果:孩子們長大後,進入了成人的世界,卻發現沒有人會滿足他的每一個要求,他們身邊的每一個人都跟他有一樣的想法,那就是,自己才是最重要的……
想象一下,他們由於只顧自己的需求而無法處理好與他人的關係。因為他們從來都沒被教導過,要去透過修正自己的需要以滿足他人……
教導你的孩子去獨立生活吧——生活上獨立、情感上獨立、交往上獨立——這是每一個為人父母的義務,且開始得越早越好。
你是這樣的人嗎:為你自己是誰而感到愧對父母,或者為你沒能成為他們期望的人而感到抱歉?
如果是,那麼