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don’t say any more;” she pleaded。 “Surely you realise how much it hurts。”
Her mother turned a beady eye on her: “Don’t blame me; dear; for your emotions。 You said it yourself: they are your responsibility。”
“No;” said my friend; reached by a sudden insight – perhaps the most important one she’d had。 “That rule does not apply when someone hurts you intentionally。”
I was every bully’s dream。 They were drawn to me like bees to honey。 Such easy game: I must have been irresistible。
The minute someone wilfully attacked me; verbally or physically; I broke right down; burst into tears: submission; humiliation plete。 Bully’s mission acplished。
How I hated myself for being so weak! For not being able to stand up for myself。 It left me with a deep sense of shame。
I was too innocent to know that it isn’t weakness to feel aggrieved as you discover brutality where you expected friendship; duplicity where you had placed your trust; malice where you had felt devotion。
At a later stage I learnt that this particular despair was not on behalf of my own person。 I felt – still feel – that same lump in my throat whenever faced with human iniquity: tales of tortured kittens; gratuitous violence; documentaries on the Holocaust; reports of current war atrocities。
However; my lament is not for the victims; whose souls no wanton cruelty can touch; but for those misguided wretches; who deliberately have taken their leave of the only thing worth living for: the only thing that gives life value。
Rejecting and negating human kindness; they’ve placed themselves beyond its reach。 For them there is no hope; no redemption。
Now; as my tears fall for them; I am no longer ashamed。
。。
Duality 二重性(1)
生命中最美妙的一件事就是擁有一個好